Internalised Aro-phobia

I'd probably have to agree with you on this one. I've recently been questioning my romantic orientation when I realized that I only had romantic attraction to someone, until I got to know the person better. Which is basically the exact opposite of demi-romantic, I guess. It's kind of strange, but in retrospect, makes a lot of sense when I start thinking about recent crushes (though when I was really little, I had long lasting crushes, and I had these in middle school too. Though thinking about it, it was more of a squish with benefits type thing, if that makes any sense) and the term I found the best for me is wtfromantic. Which isn't my favorite term in the world (personally, if you like it, the good for you!) so I just say I'm aro-spectrum or just aro (for people who don't know, and I don't really want to explain in great detail because it gets confusing and can be misleading since I still feel a degree of romantic attraction). I'm also a relationship anarchist, to complicate things further. My main source of being unable to be proud of my romantic orientation is because I fit all over the place, and simultaneously not fit well anywhere. I'm also definitely supposed to get married, family standards, but I don't really want that, and I'm not big on dating. This causes a bit of a rift with my mother ("why do you never like any boy who likes you?") and I really don't feel like going through that. I just tell her that I'm not ready for such a commitment, and that's pretty good for now. It's hard being proud when you can't even be out, I guess.

Well that was a lot of writing